For Whom The Angel Prays – Ep. 2

“What are you doing?”

“Just waiting.”

Waiting.

“Is there a problem?” Her face bore no look of concern.

“What did you do?”

“I told you we couldn’t stay there forever.” As she spoke, rays of sun broke through the cloudless sky. “Really, I think you’re trying to confuse me.”

“No.”

“No?” She asked the question as if there were no way she was wrong.

“I’m just… I’m… Where did we come from?”

“You tell me,” Aurelie almost commanded.

“The dance.”

“Dance?”

“No”, the boy, Reye, shook his head. “It wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like?” The water behind Aurelie rose from the horizon in rounded waves, and then froze. The freezing mounds became dark and dull, and then the green crept through in patches that expanded until the mounds were covered by it. It shifted and swayed dark to light and back to dark under the gentle breeze that blew from beyond.

“I was moving,” the boy recalled, “and the things I saw would change when I moved.”

“Of course, why wouldn’t they?”

The boy looked past and then back to Aurelie. “There was nothing else like me.”

“I know.”

Reye placed his right hand at the back of his head and felt the warmth of his hair on his palm and fingertips.

“And?”

“I rarely spoke.”

“I remember,” replied the golden female. “…I like your voice.”

“My voice?”

“It’s my favorite thing about you.”

“It is?”

The tall, dark haired and golden bodied female took a step back, away from Reye. “Why would I lie to you?”

Lie? Something in Reye’s chest warmed until it seemed to burn. It quickly became uncomfortable. “Why did you do that?”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking me,” she responded, slowly.

The burning in the boy’s chest became a dull, numbing tickle. “I’m sorry,” he finally answered with gravity. His voice had deepened in a profound way, and as he noticed the change, the waters behind him begun to cascade, first rising as they had done in waves behind Aurelie. “I thought that was you.”

“I suppose it was, in a way.” Her tone was becoming less playful.

Reye turned to watch the falling water crash into the ground. A band of colors arced around the mists that the crashing produced.

“It’s beautiful,” Aurelie whispered.

“It’s how I feel about you.”

“I know.”

For Whom The Angel Prays – Ep. 1

“Where is this place?”

“You don’t know?”

“Should I?”

“I would have thought so.”

“I don’t even know where I was before.”

“Well then how should I know where we are?”

“What?” He asked in desperation. What’s that supposed to mean. He was thinking to himself.

“If you don’t know, then how do you expect me to have any idea?” She was speaking playfully, but her tone mocked him.

He began to look around. There was water everywhere. Well, not directly beneath him. He was sitting in the sand. There was water all around, in every direction, and not so much as a tree or blade of grass coming from the sand.

“We’re on an island,” the female pointed out.

“I can see that”, he groaned. “But there’s nothing here and no one… Hey… Who are you?”

“This is the island between heaven and hell.”

“What?”

“That’s where we are.”

“You said you had no idea where we were.” He was confused, irritated, and then more confused.

“Well…” she started, “You’re getting your bearings.”

“I am?”

“And I’m interpreting.”

“Ok.” He dug his palms into the gritty hot sand and stood. “Interpreting what?”

She laughed and her eyes formed two arcs over her cheeks, framed by straight, jet black hair. “I’m Aurelie.”

“Aurelie…” he echoed.

“Yes, Aurelie. An extension.”

The boy looked closely at the girl. She was tall and thin, but not narrow. Her body was broad around the middle and her legs tapered to her feet. She was probably beautiful without the… She isn’t wearing anything but I can’t see any…

“Is there a problem?” she asked.

“What?” No. I guess not.” The boy’s head turned toward the water. The other water… To his right. “Are you naked?”

“No,” she answered.

The boy said nothing.

“I’m wearing light. You like it this way, I can tell.”

“I do?”

“Don’t you?” She was still speaking playfully.

“Yeah.” He did.

The girl laughed harder than before. “Well then, Reye… Make something happen.”

“Huh?” He was blushing.

“We can’t stay here forever,” the girl stated, obviously bored.

The pair looked into each other’s eyes. His were crystal blue and hers were like the sun in late afternoon. They felt no distance between those pairs of eyes.

Ok. Reye dropped his gaze to the sand at his feet and watched the grains elongate and turn from dusty brown to emerald green, and then there was grass below where there used to be none.

The girl was smiling.

How High Can Bitcoin Go? Should You Buy? Should I?

A few quick thoughts on the current state of Bitcoin trading… If you don’t know what Bitcoin is, check it out.

Short and simple. Bitcoin is not a resource, and it can not be consumed. It is highly limited by its nature to be used solely as a means to measure, or as a currency. That means it’s value should not be able to surpass (collectively) the value of all our resource based currency, ignoring inflation (which is something that needs to be stopped anyway). So, really, if the 21 million Bitcoins possible (currently 18.7 million available) reach the value of all global currency (which is something like $80 trillion), then the value of an individual Bitcoin will likely not surpass something on the order of $3.5 million dollars per unit, at least not anytime soon. And at some point, will unbacked currency hold any value? Probably not.

So, really… the value of Bitcoin will probably only increase to around 60x its current value. It’s not a bad thing to have, but the days of getting suddenly and astronomically rich are probably behind us. That being said, some of the smaller “coins” tend to take proportionate and sizeable jumps when Bitcoin moves. Doge currently gains about 3-4x what Bitcoin does when the crypto market makes a leap. So yes, you could invest $1000 in crypto right now and expect to potentially turn it into $100,000 but you’re probably better off owning a bunch of rhodium. Dwindling resources are always going to be a good investment. That being said, the market will continue to rise while people continue to buy in. Why not?

Anyway, just my two dogecoins… 🙂

UPDATE, since Dogecoin doubled in value after I posted this: Doge will eventually tank — There’s no limit to the number of “coins” that can be produced.

Stolen Kisses

It was a funny little game

Where no one wins and no one gains

And rules they fall into change

Despite ever knowing that all were insane

We backed up and played all the same

Not only once, but just twice, ever binding enraged

Scattered kisses blown off from the stage

And though you don’t understand

You’ll not regret this coming back as we planned

Sacred rules and natural fools

Tell tales of the things come to pass

Tell of ideal and of rejecting the high

Even clearer when high be defied

Didn’t fall, just forsake, he sinks to embrace by and by

While the kisses he hides find the love of their lives

On the holder of all holy light

Let The Sun Come Down

Speechless
And forced but so desired
Anger all abounds
Dissention grown in cold
Producing elongation
And twisting the profound
Such is the example
When you let the sun go down
Ignore the shattered ground

And here the sun comes down
In the latent night
Where men and angels play
Until they start to fight
In silence no repair
They fight until they die
When nothing can be spoken
And they let the sun go down

The silence isn’t deadly
And really isn’t there
Not lacking what they say
But the fact that none can hear
The crystal baby blue
The lunar glow a bloody hue
Fortune fails to pay its dues
And leaves wide open
Ugly wounds

They say don’t let the sun go down
Just let the sun come down
Then let the sun go down
And let the sun come down
Let The Sun Come Down
Do Not Let The Sun Come Down


Mercy



Corrosion springs to violence brings

A crude malicious tune

On crowded sheet of heaven street

We cry for what is true



I fought for you and lost for you

And wait for you to find

Me holding prize with all my might

Althought it’s never mine



Truth’s a bird with broken wing

Tattered and abused

It dove for you, and died for you

Waiting for your notice



Sought, and lost, and cherished

Though loved it bites and stings

It’s one blind eye still back in darkness

This all your mercy brings?



I craft my prayers to tonic spells

And light them in the night

So the universe may not ignore

Whats beautiful and bright



Make me a giant

So my shadow parts the way

For mercy bring the truth to flight

And grace the pain away

The Greatest Gift

© pixabay/geralt

To pull the head up from the clouds

Away from sleep the mind aroused

To see the dancers dancing in time

And dancing to show the stars aligned

Freed from bonds and seeded lies

Though not from what they can’t despise

And they all heightened by the prize

In part fulfilled

But part from them must hide

Given value by their rhyme

Held back to keep him proud

The belief is always shared

Though no matter how they cry

The winds that chill his heart

Remain as though they’re mine

What do they desire?

And what does it become?

When desire unfulfilled allows them all to shine?

The eternal unfulfilled

Given to one and for a time

As long as she would take it

Perhaps to break the old disguise

It’s something no one else can give

It’s something that wasn’t meant to be

It’s what he always longs to send

It’s something close to the divine

And all he wants to hear her say…

Is: The Greatest Gift is mine.

To Start a New and Overwhelming Project

© Comfreak/Pixabay

One of the most important things that we can learn and develop through an event like a global pandemic, especially in the midst of the technological revolution and globalization is the ability to adapt to radically changing life circumstances. Career transition, philosophical upheaval, and the desire to become more directly involved in social and political spheres are common symptoms of the 2020 phenomenon. As for me, I’ve always kept a loose grip on anything I held as necessity.

My formal education has all been primarily in the sciences and psychology with spatterings of business and economics throughout my twenties. I worked in labs as a technician, manager, writer and consultant, and I’ve been involved in a handful of academic research projects. I’ve also played with music and creative writing all my life and started programming and building computers before middle school in the early 90s. So now, in early 2021, I find myself a month and a half into my tenth (or so) major project in software development, and I’m being aided solely by one other person, a talented sketch artist whose works will be showcased in the digital world I am creating. Almost two months in, it has become clear that strict expectations must be conceded to adaptability.

That is not to say we won’t produce what I initially hoped for. However, we have both realized the tendency to raise our expectations for every aspect of the project as we have progressed. I’d like to be able to do everything. What started as a simple table top style role playing game (with all calculations being determined by simulated 6 and 4 sided dice) became something we both expected to crush our initial goals. Keeping things simple and sticking to the plan has become difficult for two like minded perfectionists. The art is good (hand drawn and digitally painted), the interface is friendly and intuitive, but the world, music and overall scope have shifted. Technical limitations are trying to cut everything back down. I’m developing for PC, but recently ran tests on a couple different android devices. Complexity, high quality representations of the artwork, and a dynamic and active coding system are going to limit accessibility if I continue to push the boundaries, meaning less people will get a chance to enjoy the artwork and charm.

This one needs to go back in the oven…

The original idea was to pay homage to my favorite classics simultaneously while introducing the artist as well as my own original core gameplay mechanic. You could theoretically play the game with two dice, a pen and paper without so many confusing statistics that are commonly found in other games. It is meant to be accessible while still holding up mathematically as a satisfying “game” experience. This is where I feel overwhelmed. I started coding as a 4 or 5 year old with my dad, and I quickly learned BASIC, pascal, and C++. There were things I wanted to do as a kid that I couldn’t due to hardware limitations, and while the same is true now, the box is open much wider than it was then. I can do those things in 2021, but I want to release the game on mobile devices and I want the artwork to be appreciated, and really, I want the experience to feel satisfying to fans of classics, and approachable to a casual audience. So I limit myself, and I force myself to remember that sometimes less is more and elegance in simplicity is often more beautiful. In fact, I believe wholeheartedly that limitations are what force us to produce and evolve overall beauty. Omnipotence eventually breeds absolute perfection, and past that there is no future. I feel the pull to do everything all at once, but I believe pure creativity loves boundaries.

To summarize, I started a project that I gave myself about 6 months to finish, and now I see everything I could do with it as well as all the technical and personal barriers to my own success, and I don’t like how impatient I am with myself… and I write this while I laugh at me. Adapting is about remembering where you came from, knowing what you want to accomplish, and knowing that the path of least resistance is not always the one you planned on.

She and I are hard at work today, bringing our characters and world to life. To date, we have completed almost two dozen portraits and paintings including sketches, watercolors and digital drawings. We’ve also completed town and world design, created dozens of equipment items, spells and abilities, and are excited for people to play with it all.

More (and less reflective) updates on the game to come. 🙂

Beautiful

© darksouls1/pixabay

If only they could see

The thing I wish that you could know

It’s what always speaks to me

When your soul decides to show

You wear it far too well

The word was torn from heaven’s bells

Only exists for you

And there is nothing else to think

I am not able

Don’t see the need

The word still echoes in the space

Space between my ears

The space where both of us can meet

You were always there

To fill the voided meaning

Of beauty and where it springs

The beautiful is you

The word must be as you are seen

There may always be others

Who almost take the prize

Yet none of them are ever what I want before my eyes

Merry Christmas!

©Larisa-K/Pixabay

Tonight for many people is just like any other night, but regardless of your belief system or holiday traditions, there is a peaceful air cutting the edge that we’ve been feeling all year. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and hope to all who are reading. When times are difficult, humanity shows its true colors. The year has tried us all, some more than others, but persistence and hope still overwhelm everything negative that could be dragging us down. To my readers, have a good night and a beautiful day. If you have time, stop to reflect on the importance of connection. We would be nothing alone.

You are all amazing, strong, and beautiful.

My favorite Christmas song

Something fun to listen to